Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Letting it go

A time comes when you have to just let it go. There is no planning; no schemes are made. If you try holding it, it will pass any way, like saliva through a chipped tooth.
It rained heavily the night I decided to let it go. It was not easy. Tobu's memories were as painful as hangnails. Memory is not like semen; one cannot drain it away. It felt like rubbing swollen gums till they bled. Tobu - for whom so many pet names had fallen short that she had to be named after a kids' cycle brand.
The first vision of love came to me through an old black and white Weston television set. A serial run on Doordarshan, in early 80s, it had a song which stayed with me ever since:
Mere humsafar mere saath tum, kabhi dhoop banke chala karo...
When I think of Tobu, those black and white images come back. And then, I rub my gums. I swallow the blood.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

yaad ki aandhi ne
khol diye dil ke darwaze phir tumare liye...
sisakti raat phir sajane lagi kuch khwab
tumhare liye...
main apne bharte zhakm phir kuredta hun
tumko na bhool jaane ke liye...tumhare liye tumhare liye...