Friday, October 26, 2007

One of those days

Sometimes, nothing matters in life. You wake up, stumble towards the balcony, pick up the bunch of newspapers, remove the rubber band which binds them together, read the headlines, look at the edit page, stare at Calvin and Hobbes, and throw the sheets away.

You don’t care about a smooth shave. It is a nippy end-October morning, and you wonder whether you should have a cold shower or switch on the geyser. Ultimately, you make do with a few mugfuls of cold water.

Books, which you collected for more than one decade, look like bricks. Sunflowers evoke no emotion. The crests and troughs of Abida Parveen’s voice irritate you. It is the same song on which you cried last night.

The statue of the unknown soldier, kept on your table, looks like an intruder. You don’t care whether your handkerchief is neat or not. You don’t bother to tie your shoelaces like butterfly wings, something your father taught you, twenty-five years back. You just do things.

In the evening you come back. You enter your room, closing the door behind you. You stare at the wall. It stares back at you. You pick up the mobile, searching for names you would like to talk to. There is no one. You switch it off.

A DVD of The Motorcycle Diaries is gathering dust. You close your eyes. You are not sleeping. You are not awake either. Someone calls your name outside. You don’t call back. You don’t get up.

Sometimes, nothing matters in life.


Anonymous said...

Ahh here's a piece I can relate to. My excuse being- ' everyone is entitled to a break now and then,' even though emptiness and uselessness are dreadful feelings. enjoy it for a while but make sure you pen down a heart melting poem to share with us once you shake yourself out of it

hera said...

focus on what's in front of you and the miasma will clear. shukriya and hugs for the Gulzar story elsewhere.

Anonymous said...

Hey Rahul,

I would appreciate if you could share some names of books from your list of favorites (i.e from the shelf in front of you). I would love to read the stories that have influenced your life / writing.


Rahul Pandita said...

Thanks Hera.

Anonymous, well some of the books I like are:

Lust for Life by Irving Stone (Van Gogh's bio)

Steppenwolf by Hermann Hesse

The circle of reason by Amitava Ghosh

All works by Nirmal Verma (Hindi)

Sentimental Education by Gustave Flaubert

The old man and the sea by Ernest Hemingway

Karan said...

Thanks so much Rahul. I have one remaining from that list - Sentimental Education by Gustave Flaubert. Will pick it up soon.

Hope to see your next post soon.